Music: http://bit.ly/hcbDA8 Lycia-Wide Open Spaces
The world started to echo from the moment he died. It became a vast, hollow thing; like a memory that never happened, like a religion based on an empty god that wasn't there. He could feel his emotions being echoed and amplified by walls he was sure he would never see.
Looking around, he saw no paths. Dissapearing into the distance, trees with black trunks bore gently glowing, orange fruit on leafless branches. Grass brushed the middle of his thigh, radiant with it's own light; waving him onward as though touched by a breeze he could not feel. the distant cloud, only identifiable as negative space leaving the games through which stars show, flowed gently acrossed the sky.
Approaching one such tree, he noted the glowing blue veins that marbled the trunk, how they gathered at the point where the fruit, swirling with miasmic energy, grew. Curious, he touched it.
The veins of energy gathered at his fingertips, the blue streaming up his hand, flowing along the nerves in his arm directly to his brain. For a moment, he was lost in a memory of somthing that never as: a family, a child, a dog; but the connection was broken as he snapped away, as though touching a hot plate.
He wanted to see what the others had to say, but was too afraid to touch them.
Walking through the grass, he noticed it's glow followed him, rendering the area around him into darkness and putting him in an ambiant spotlight. He hugged himself; he felt so cold, and with a shock, he realized skin touching skin made no difference.
As he walked, he began passing rock-like protrusions, round and smooth as marble. They began to get bigger as he followed them with his eyes, and having no other landmarks, he followed them.
They led to a tree much like those he had seen before; only this one luminesced in pale white, the top of the trunk high above the clouds. At it's base was an entrance-like opening, and along it's trunk, at random intervals, black slashes in the white indicated more piercings through the hull of the tree.
Death always makes the world seem a little grayer, but the way you took his point of view onward, I guess, made me feel like I was kind of dead with him. Gorgeous as always, Sugars. Love the contrasting color and the imagery of emptiness!
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting story. You could use a good edit on it, as you sometimes repeat the same words. There are also a few spelling things, mostly missing letters.
ReplyDeleteThe story was good though. Your description and world building is strong. I only saw a couple words that seemed out of place. You have a strong sense of feeling. I like that you added touch, as he reached out for the rocks.
I like your work so far and I hope you don't anything negative. I'd love to see more of your work.
Draven Ames